How To Be A Master Procrastinator

  1. Make sure to check your emails multiple times every hour. Be sure to avoid replying to the unread emails. Once you’ve checked your emails, move on to LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and any other source of communication. Again, it is vital you don’t reply to any messages as that would give you less to do later in the day.

 

  1. Think about what you’d like to be doing after you’ve finished whatever you’re currently doing. Whether that’s a job you’d like to apply for, a trip you’d like to take, or another course you’d like to study, spend hours looking up the requirements for this job before deciding that it isn’t for you after all, and that you’re going to have to keep looking. You can even start preparing for an interview that hasn’t been lined up if you’d like.

 

  1. Make sure that whatever task you should be doing right now, you’re doing another, less relevant one. Should you be tidying because you’re having people over later today? Then read your emails (but don’t reply to them, see 1. above). Should you be studying for an exam in 2 days? Those dishes aren’t going to do themselves! The key thing here is to do whatever inspires you – and I can guarantee, nothing you’re meant to be doing is going to inspire you. Ever.

 

  1. Plan your entire day around your meals. Spend hours preparing for each meal and researching what you’d like to cook, then further time organising your kitchen and cooking while watching your favourite TV show. Eat slowly while watching a film, and be sure to finish the film before you get up to do anything else.

 

  1. Try to stay away from clocks or other time-measuring devices (e.g. egg timers).

 

  1. Remember that one friend in ballet class who used to pick her nose and wipe it on her shoes? I wonder what she’s up to now. Spend hours looking her up on all the social media platforms. Oh, she’s working at sales manager? I’m going to do so much better when I get a job. Repeat step 2.

 

  1. Pick up a new hobby, such as blogging. Whenever something urgently has to be done, write a blog post instead (I know, so meta. I’m supposed to be revising my thesis right now.)

11 Comments Add yours

  1. I have number 3 nailed! So true… unless your a procrastinator you don’t see how easy it is to do ALL of these things and not even know you are!

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  2. Beth says:

    HAHAHAHA! This is perfection! And unfortunately SO true! Thanks for the chuckle and a great reminder of what NOT to do!

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  3. Love this! And totally shocked at how many of these I do with out being fully aware. Thanks

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  4. A.J. Sefton says:

    Brilliant! This post has just reassured me that I am doing all the right things. To be a procrastinator, that is, and a Master one at that.

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  5. Sharon Lopez says:

    Does it mean I am not? Well, perhaps. But it’s funny because I observe others to be like this. It’s true I don’t watch TV but I eat in front of my computer while writing and researching for my next post.

    Such a good way of presenting an idea.

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  6. LOLOLO this is the best thing I read today!thanks for the laugh, made me conscious of how must i procrastinate like a pro sometimes!!!

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  7. INDIERELLA says:

    I feel so attacked but also: I came up with my blog idea while I was working on my thesis, and three days after I turned it in to my advisor, I was ready to launch. 🙂

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  8. fujikfujka says:

    This is so awesome! hahaha I would also add do not EVER think about the things you should do, don’t write them down, don’t make task lists and by all means don’t prioritize those. Like this you won’t even know what you should be doing, making number 3 a lot easier on yourself. You can’t feel guilty if you don’t know you should be (I’m really good at this sometimes ;)). hahah! Such a great post!!! 😀

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  9. Anna says:

    Hahaha! Such a good description of everything a good procrastinator can do to put off their next task.

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  10. Tiffany says:

    I had fun reading this!Thanks for sharing ♥️ ♥️ By any chance you are interested on doing collaborations, you can check out the collaborations portal of Phlanx.com and connect with amazing brands!

    Xoxo,
    Tiffany

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